Taking A Break

I didn't think I'd be writing this kind of post again. But, as you may notice, I've yet again not been posting on my social platforms very often recently. I've been quite open with my struggle with depression and anxiety, and if I'm honest, I've been struggling a lot more recently. I've tried to push through it, but doing all the self care in the world is not working.

I feel a huge pressure, which honestly I put on myself, to post on my blog and Youtube channel. The problem is, when I feel as low as I have been, I lack motivation. I lack the words, the ideas and the creative flair I once had. Because of this, I end up feeling guilty that I have once again 'failed' to keep on top of the things I love. I find myself comparing myself and my life to those I follow. These people inspire me daily, but I also feel incredible jealousy because I just don't feel like I have my life together.

One thing Liam has been asking me repeatedly in the past few weeks has been, what are your hobbies now? And the answer is, I don't have any. I've struggled with making time for myself ever since Scout was born. That's three years of not giving myself time to do things I enjoy, and that means that I really don't know what that is anymore.

So I've decided to give myself a break from social media for the rest of August. No doubt I'll still be checking peoples updates every now and then, but I'm giving myself a break from the pressure I put on myself. I'm not going to make myself feel bad for not posting, and I will be pretty quiet on my own social media channels. I'm hoping in this time, I can stop stressing a little, and instead find some time to fall in love with something again. I want to feel inspired, get ideas, and begin to create things I'm proud of.

So I'll be back in September. Hopefully a little happier, and feeling more fulfilled. I don't want to give up my little space on the internet, I just really want to enjoy it again, instead of feeling guilty about it.

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